


Salvation

by CinderAndAshes



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: (because dang it we need more of those and I am soft for these two), (kind of), Caleb-typical sadness but Soft(tm), Coda, Comfort No Hurt, Episode 110 'Dinner with the Devil', Episode Related, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Queerplatonic Relationships, Spoilers, can be read either as (pre-)ship or as, it's about THAT monologue aka Fuck Me Up Taliesin Jaffe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26632084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinderAndAshes/pseuds/CinderAndAshes
Summary: “The pain is inconsequential. It’s love that saves them.”  ||  It had been hours since they left the district of the Candles and its residents far behind them, but Caduceus’ words were still deeply resonating with Caleb as he twisted an turned in his bed. The firbolg’s voice was echoing in his mind and did not let him slip into the land of dreams. After another five minutes, Caleb threw back his blanket and stood up. He should look for the one occupying his thoughts. Maybe that would grant him the peace to sleep.________Caleb. Caduceus. Conversations about love and forgiveness.A small coda to episode 110 “Dinner with the Devil”
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71





	Salvation

**Author's Note:**

> Caduceus' monologue still haunts me. I couldn't not write something about it. Just a little thing, very dialogue heavy. I hope you enjoy.

It had been hours since they left the district of the Candles and its residents far behind them, but Caduceus’ words were still deeply resonating with Caleb as he twisted an turned in his bed. The firbolg’s voice was echoing in his mind and did not let him slip into the land of dreams. After another five minutes, Caleb threw back his blanket and stood up. He should look for the one occupying his thoughts. Maybe that would grant him the peace to sleep. Maybe it would quiet the storm in his heart.

He padded along the quiet corridor, carful to wake nobody else up along the way, until he reached the door he was seeking. He raised his hand and knocked carefully. Nothing happened. Perhaps Caduceus was already asleep. Perhaps Caleb had knocked too quietly in an attempt to not disturb anybody. But should he try again louder if Caduceus might already be asleep himself? He did not want to interrupt the cleric’s slumber. It was more than well earned. If anybody deserved a good night’s rest, it was him. Maybe he should just return to his room and continue to toss around until the morning, his thoughts too loud and too jumbled to fall asleep. Caleb turned around and was about to take his first step back, when the door in front of him opened with a small click. Through the crack, Caduceus became visible. He was only wearing a loose turquoise robe and his hair was unbraided. He peeked at Caleb curiously for a moment. Then, he stepped back and pulled the door further open.

“Good evening, Caleb. Please, come in.”

“I’m sorry if I disturbed you-“

“No, no. Nothing like that, don’t worry. Just had to put out some incense first. I just got finished with my evening meditation.”

“I see. I hope you like your room?” Caleb looked around as he stepped inside the room. Here and there, small details jumped at him that he could tweak when he’d cast the mansion the next time.

“Very much. It’s a lovely room. Thank you.”

“No, no please. Don’t thank me. Not for this. It’s me who should thank you. That is – ah, I am, in fact, here to thank you.”

Caduceus looked at him in surprise. “Oh. Really? What for?”

Caleb returned the look incredulously. “Can you not guess? For earlier. At the dinner. You – you said some things. Granted, you said them to Ikithon, but they were not just for him, were they?”

Caduceus’ left ear flicked to the side. He smiled. “You’re very perceptive.”

“Those words, you said them for me too, I think. Or even if you didn’t, they are sticking with me. They cling to me. They won’t leave me alone. I hear them, over and over again. Love saves people. Love – love shapes them. Because the pain doesn’t matter in the long run. Those words carry a sentiment that I can scarcely hope to believe yet I find myself deeply yearning for them to ring true now that I have indeed heard them.”

“I do not pride myself on being a liar, Caleb, you know that. I believe every word I said there to be absolutely true.”

Caleb’s throat constricted. “But how,” he whispered desperately, “How can it be? How can it be true for me? I did despicable things, horrible deeds that are seared into my core. Things that caused unspeakable pain to many people.”

“It also caused unspeakable pain to you. But you are not different to anybody else in this. Pain is temporary. Love is what elevates us, what saves us. Love can forgive and heal much.”

“One should be lucky to be loved as deeply to be forgiven such misdeeds.”

Caduceus’ smile was devastatingly soft. “You are all three, as far as I am concerned.”

Tears were prickling in Caleb’s eyes. His breath caught in his throat as he looked at the tall, impossibly gentle firbolg in front of him. His fur tickled against Caleb’s scalp as he leaned down and pressed a kiss on his forehead. “Please don’t doubt that, Caleb.” Caduceus looked at him imploringly and reached for his hand. “You are loved very much, by all of us. Anybody who is loved by so many wonderful people is indeed lucky. And forgiveness…well, I may just be a soft-hearted fool but I think that there is no need to forgive you. But you think you need it and so I am willing to forgive you, as is everybody else. Yet the only one who still hasn’t forgiven you is yourself.”

Caleb chuckled weakly. “You are a many great things, Caduceus Clay, but a fool is most certainly not one of them.”

Caduceus hummed. “That is kind of you to say.”

Caleb’s fingers intertwined with his. “It really isn’t. You are perhaps the wisest person I know. Which makes what you said back there – and what you are saying right now – all the more precious to me.”

“I’m glad to hear that since you are precious to me, too.”

“I just…I’m not sure if I can believe it yet.”

“Then I will repeat it over and over until one day you will.”

“Caduceus-“

“Caleb.”

His words died in his throat. Caleb could not say a single thing as his thoughts raced too fast to be discerned. Then, he suddenly did not have a single thought at all. He just leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Caduceus’ broad soft chest. The hug he was drawn into was all-encompassing. It was safety and belonging and Caleb thought, yes, if this is what salvation can feel like, maybe he would like to strive for it.

Caduceus only smiled into Caleb’s hair and closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of the man in his arms. Loving him was not a chore but it would entail many challenges still. He would take on all of them gladly. But not this night. This night was a time for softness and love. A time for salvation.


End file.
